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I could probably teach a course in this.

I have a certain kind of superpower. It’s not enough of a decent ability to make me eligible for either the Justice League of America, or the X-Men / Avengers, but it’s something that, I think, makes me stronger and better and smarter than the average bear.

Filipinos celebrate Philippine Independence Day every June 12 since 1898. Since then, we have had government corruption, an aborted tiger economy, several succession of presidents all belonging to a dynasty that most of its gullible people are unaware of, and a 90% population living below the poverty line.

We’ve got two dogs in the house: Cookie and Princess. Cookie, my half-retriever ad half-spitz, was named for her fur color, which is a sortof light cookie dough. Princess, a chowchow pedigree, was named for the manner my parents planned to treat her as, and eventually, also for her attitude towards life.

Other observations post-elections:

1. The Comelec website voter’s information listed my dad as female. We only discovered while we were standing in line, and after dad took out his iPad to check our district numbers.

I typically spend most of my nights writing in Eastwood Mall, a good five minute walk from where I live; sacrificing sleep for a few hours of self-delusion over what comprises ‘talent’. I write mostly at Gloria Jean’s Coffee, which one of my good friends also happen to own (small plug: 2nd floor veranda, Eastwood Mall, Eastwood City, Libis, Quezon City. Free chocolate Krispies with cold drinks) and stay until closing hours. I spend most of my free time there because I never could seem to find enough concentration to maintain the solid 500-1000 words an hour pace I enforce on myself at home, but also because there are far too many odd / interesting people stumbling into the coffee shop that a parody of them sometimes find their way into the novel I’ve been working on for the last month. Three of the more specific examples:

Though often overshadowed by the Japanese and the occasional Chinese, Filipinos still have their share of Engrish WTFs.

(”Siomai” is as soft Chinese meat bun.)

When Japan isn’t hosting game shows where losers have to smell man-farts, or engaging in tug of wars with face pantyhose, they’re actively seeking out new places and new countries to ship all their weird shit to, and the Philippines has always been a favorite dumping ground of sorts. Case in point: a Japanese surplus store (similar to dollar stores in the United States) called Saizen, ran by an actual Japanese company called Daiso, and where most of their items are priced at P85 (roughly $2) or less. While most of the goods they sell can be found in most other regular mom & pop stores and are of pretty good quality, others just make you go wtf. My Top 5 picks below.