Top 5 weird crap you can find in a Japanese surplus store
When Japan isn’t hosting game shows where losers have to smell man-farts, or engaging in tug of wars with face pantyhose, they’re actively seeking out new places and new countries to ship all their weird shit to, and the Philippines has always been a favorite dumping ground of sorts. Case in point: a Japanese surplus store (similar to dollar stores in the United States) called Saizen, ran by an actual Japanese company called Daiso, and where most of their items are priced at P85 (roughly $2) or less. While most of the goods they sell can be found in most other regular mom & pop stores and are of pretty good quality, others just make you go wtf. My Top 5 picks below.
5. Anti-Cat Mattresses
Small outside mats with sharp plastic spikes that, if the pictures are to be believed, shall make kittens cry, thereby making your backyard, if not the world, a better place to live in. Because if Japan doesn’t give a flying fuck about all those whales and dolphins they’ve been harpooning along their coast, they won’t give a rat’s ass about all the delicious animal abuse violations (and child violations, if children who might accidentally wander into your front lawn could be stupid which, at last count, is ALL OF THEM) this product encourages.
4. Stainless steel soap
Apparently successful at getting all kinds of smell off your fingers. Of course, it’s not going to get rid of the stains or the dirt or the mess or blood or other kinds of goop that goes hand in hand with the afforementioned smells – but I guess if it looks like blood and feels like blood but doesn’t smell like blood they’re going to have a harder time proving it is in fact blood, your Honor.
3. Joke decals
Ghostly long-haired women that want to eat your face are a standard part of Japanese culture. Show off your love for Japanese culture by showcasing them in your mirror!
These are decals you can peel off and stick to your mirror, although the whole point of the decal is that you stick them in someone else’s mirror without their knowledge.
Other decals also include fake electric sockets you can stick to walls, offering you the option to give your friends either a heart attack, or another reason to punch you in the face.
2. Duck dicks
I don’t even want to know.
1. Man Boobs
I am not kidding. I am hoping this is some sort of gag toy, but nothing in the box’s instructions or in the pictures give any indication that it is anything other than a self-masturbation aid, but without the effort needed to find a willing woman with equally willing mammary glands. I mean, just take a look at the man’s face. Does it look like he’s doing this for laughs?
Didn’t think so.
Fun fact: I’d actually spotted a glow-in-the-dark condom the last time I visited, albeit without my phone camera. it was the one that had first inspired, and should have made, this list. The store clerk unfortunately, said they didn’t have that particular condom in stock during this visit.
Apparently, they’d sold out.
